Oh please gods no! Please say this is a joke...please? How will I ever sleep again? I know I'm a hundred miles away but if it can escape from your attic...Who knows what else it is capable of.
Desperate measures are called for... I think. There is a mystery - no two mysteries - at the heart of this complex tale. Just who is Attila the Mug and, more pertinantly, just who is the all-knowing, Pippin? SM. A worm in book's clothing. x
Pippin: little black collie cross and master assassin. For months, we have suspected she has a lock-up or work-space somewhere on the property. She has been cagey about admitting to it, fearing that we would release her prisoners. I fear that, if I investigate the noises coming from the darker corners, I will find victims of Pippin's experiments. She is watching me right now, and may be as much a danger as is the mug. As to who the mug is...stories differ. Some say it is the product of a curse, others that it is the twisted offspring of a vampire and a crockery set (I choose not to dwell too firmly on those stories - they are, in some ways, as disturbing as the whole Minotaur myth) and yet others say it is something which slipped in from the darker dimensions beyond our own. Whatever it is, it has managed to dent the door to the basement. Our predicament grows ever more dire.
I'm not sure which is worse; being locked in with Pippin or Attic Mug on the rampage. How to you calm down enraged demon crockery anyway? Will it respond to some soothing music? I have some with ocean wave noises in the back ground...
It's off. IT'S OFF! Phew. I'm guessing a tranquilizer dart is only going to make the situation worse. Can you fend it off by threatening to pour instant noodles in boiling water into it?
We snuck past the mug as it was sleeping in a pile of bodies. The bodies of its fallen brethren. I left Pippin in charge and she seems to have wrestled it back into the attic. At least, she says she has. I am not convinced she isn't using it in an experiment.
Oh please gods no! Please say this is a joke...please? How will I ever sleep again? I know I'm a hundred miles away but if it can escape from your attic...Who knows what else it is capable of.
ReplyDeleteWe have locked ourselves in the basement. Pippin says this should hold out, but I have my doubts. I think the mug has a blowtorch.
ReplyDeleteSend help.
Desperate measures are called for... I think. There is a mystery - no two mysteries - at the heart of this complex tale. Just who is Attila the Mug and, more pertinantly, just who is the all-knowing, Pippin? SM. A worm in book's clothing. x
ReplyDeletePippin: little black collie cross and master assassin. For months, we have suspected she has a lock-up or work-space somewhere on the property. She has been cagey about admitting to it, fearing that we would release her prisoners. I fear that, if I investigate the noises coming from the darker corners, I will find victims of Pippin's experiments.
ReplyDeleteShe is watching me right now, and may be as much a danger as is the mug.
As to who the mug is...stories differ. Some say it is the product of a curse, others that it is the twisted offspring of a vampire and a crockery set (I choose not to dwell too firmly on those stories - they are, in some ways, as disturbing as the whole Minotaur myth) and yet others say it is something which slipped in from the darker dimensions beyond our own.
Whatever it is, it has managed to dent the door to the basement. Our predicament grows ever more dire.
I'm not sure which is worse; being locked in with Pippin or Attic Mug on the rampage. How to you calm down enraged demon crockery anyway? Will it respond to some soothing music? I have some with ocean wave noises in the back ground...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAbort! ABORT!
ReplyDeleteOcean wave music only enrages the mug.
Repeat: ocean wave music is not a goer. Turn it off!
It's off. IT'S OFF!
ReplyDeletePhew.
I'm guessing a tranquilizer dart is only going to make the situation worse. Can you fend it off by threatening to pour instant noodles in boiling water into it?
(We are having to whisper, now. It has stopped hammering on the door unless it hears noise. We are going to try and wait it out.)
ReplyDeleteDid you manage to get out in time for work today?
ReplyDeleteWe snuck past the mug as it was sleeping in a pile of bodies. The bodies of its fallen brethren.
ReplyDeleteI left Pippin in charge and she seems to have wrestled it back into the attic. At least, she says she has. I am not convinced she isn't using it in an experiment.